14/4
hey hey hey.. aloha man.. gee... now in skul.. the comp lab.. gee... guess i'm quite upset with life diz few days.. "he" confessess to me that he love n i'm his MG.. n on one day, he sound me.. wee... i dont know coz he just a fren of mine.. he's a very nice guy.. gentelman.. adores his characteristics n personality.. he got the full package of my dream guy.. but too bad, i dont love him.. he cant force me to love him rite.. all this while we have been close, its impossible tat we will b together...yeah.. nothing is impossible.. quite true.. but i got a reason in what i do.. y i reject him? coz i dont have the feelings for him.. abit yesh but .... there's other guy hanging on my heart.. its difficult u see.. y cant he understand my situation..
he will be in my heart forever but remain as a bro to me.. we cant be together.. this 3 yrs n half, i've been treating him like my own bro where i can share my feelings n problems with..i told him tat i need the time to think.. that he said, for the time being, just b frenz.. ya ok.. thats fine wit me.. i'm under confusion now.. his fren love to influence me.. gee... i'm not worth it.. i noe that once i'm with him, i'll b the most jovial gerl.. the main prob is, once we r together, i don wanna his impression towards me change..now, after rejecting him, he dont really talk to me.. haiz.. haiz.. i donno wat to say.. i'm slacking.. problems are haunting me down.. he's trying to avoid me.. yeah.. kina said i have to "face it" soon.. its not that easy.. this yr is my important yr..
i don wanna waste my fucking time focusing on this kind of stuff.. u noe wat.. i'm pissed off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm not trying to give him hope.. thats not my intention...i just feel that me life is nothing.. i don wanna laugh, smile.. i juz wanna b ALonE!! zal is another prob.. he's playing wit my feelings.. n i anti tat kind of irritating motherfucker!! y did he have to do this to me?? am i a doll to him?? he acts as if nothing happen btween me n him.. fuck off!! i dont this kind of guy in my life.. he told he hates hurting anybody.. bbual WORLD ar!!
i dont expect anything from him.. i need SINCERITY from him.. honesty is virtue... he treats me like fuck, i treat like fuck too... i dont give a damn on such guy.. sumtimes i gave him a smirk smile.. y did he have to hurt me?? y at the first place he became close to me, confessess me?? and y did he left me??probably, he got no answer to this.. sick n tired of it.. yeah me got to go.. wish me for the best ya.. take care.. love ya.. muacks!!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
i got a CRUSH!
6/4/05
hmm. hey. aloha. wee. saturday nite. haha. today very dull. fucking boring. slacking at home. no mood. mood swing. haiz. i'm sick. i needa visit the physchiatrist. physcotic madness. gee. dunno wats bothering me. couldnt figure out wat it is. monolog. err.
niway, ysterday, chill wit nas, sharir, kina, haziq, zaly, fir berog n amali. quite fun. with the jokes. tat was a damn unlucky day for kina. she lost her mp3 player. out of sudden. damn. she was panicked as tat was not hers. but her bros. suspecting somebody stole it. hmm. didnt wanna assume. bad. hope its all alrite by hook or by crook. pity kina. was tryin to help her but dunno how.
hmm. dinesh out. went out wit kai just now. quite nice. haha. laughing wit him. kinda miss ma miki kai. lol. we went to the mcdonald. kai sent me home. sweet rite? dun wanna trouble him. he insisted, y not? haha.
didnt do anything the whole day. watch tv, play comp, listening radio. tats all. lazy to feed my guineaS n cleaned ma room. dunno y. seems to b lazy this few days. big bummers! yea. haha.
err. cant wait for my family day. hope to have fun there. missing ma cousins. especially wani n adek. haha. yeah. then, monday having english seminar. somewhere in town.
hey, got something to tell ya. i got a crush on this yiss guy. his name is fifi. he's kinda cute. haha. let make this clear, its just a CRUSH ok. nothing else. it wont lead to any realtionship. for the time being la. mayb after O can go on wit him. haha. who noes? lol. he got this nice character. nah. mayb its just an infatuation. not developing n hope it will never be. tats all la. i'm blushing. drop it like its hot! haha.
opps! i still got my husband, scooby doo, to take care of. nah. he got cheryl n hidayah to hold on to. haha. he will neva relent on girls. wateva. don care. no matter wat, he's still ma husband. haha.
hmm. no plans for tomorrow. but! mayb going out wit kecik. not sure. gonna pay ma bill then ...... shopping mayb or loitering around the town. err. k la. me got to go. wanna watch tv. kinda boring sticking in my room like glue. ok dude. bye. muacks. luv ya!!
PEACE!
hmm. hey. aloha. wee. saturday nite. haha. today very dull. fucking boring. slacking at home. no mood. mood swing. haiz. i'm sick. i needa visit the physchiatrist. physcotic madness. gee. dunno wats bothering me. couldnt figure out wat it is. monolog. err.
niway, ysterday, chill wit nas, sharir, kina, haziq, zaly, fir berog n amali. quite fun. with the jokes. tat was a damn unlucky day for kina. she lost her mp3 player. out of sudden. damn. she was panicked as tat was not hers. but her bros. suspecting somebody stole it. hmm. didnt wanna assume. bad. hope its all alrite by hook or by crook. pity kina. was tryin to help her but dunno how.
hmm. dinesh out. went out wit kai just now. quite nice. haha. laughing wit him. kinda miss ma miki kai. lol. we went to the mcdonald. kai sent me home. sweet rite? dun wanna trouble him. he insisted, y not? haha.
didnt do anything the whole day. watch tv, play comp, listening radio. tats all. lazy to feed my guineaS n cleaned ma room. dunno y. seems to b lazy this few days. big bummers! yea. haha.
err. cant wait for my family day. hope to have fun there. missing ma cousins. especially wani n adek. haha. yeah. then, monday having english seminar. somewhere in town.
hey, got something to tell ya. i got a crush on this yiss guy. his name is fifi. he's kinda cute. haha. let make this clear, its just a CRUSH ok. nothing else. it wont lead to any realtionship. for the time being la. mayb after O can go on wit him. haha. who noes? lol. he got this nice character. nah. mayb its just an infatuation. not developing n hope it will never be. tats all la. i'm blushing. drop it like its hot! haha.
opps! i still got my husband, scooby doo, to take care of. nah. he got cheryl n hidayah to hold on to. haha. he will neva relent on girls. wateva. don care. no matter wat, he's still ma husband. haha.
hmm. no plans for tomorrow. but! mayb going out wit kecik. not sure. gonna pay ma bill then ...... shopping mayb or loitering around the town. err. k la. me got to go. wanna watch tv. kinda boring sticking in my room like glue. ok dude. bye. muacks. luv ya!!
PEACE!
Saturday, April 02, 2005
emo?
2/4
hey hey hey.. aloha! wassup man.. this few days stress.. haiz.. studies of course..nas emo wit MG, khai emo wit win, kina wit tony, jah wit gon n leia wit razmy.. haiz.. haha.. many prob haunting us down actually..gee i'm sick n tired of those stuff.. aniway.. ysterday was sports day.. although we didnt win the race(fartlek), i'm proud that we finish it man.. haha.. ysterday rapist no3 sit beside his ex.. damn it.. i was so damn jealous.. i cried actually.. i donno y.. he confess to me that he love me.. i felt that it is true coz he's proving it.. but then few days ago, everything has changed.. dunno y.. i just felt it like that...
arhhggghhh! y am i being so selfish man!! but i cant control coz i love him just like that, only like that.. not so deep.. but i'm kinda pissed off.. he didnt even msg or call me.. since ysterday.. grr.. can see the changes in him.. he fetch me from the dental centre.. he even kissed my cheeks n hold my hand.. what the hell is this.. is he playing wit my feelings or wat? cmon man.. i'm having my o level diz yr.. i'm sick n tired doing this kind of stuff.. great i got such friends like jah, nas, kina, khai, leia.. i dont care.. i dont give a damn!! i gave up!!ps: gonna change poa teacher.. thats great..wee! me got to go.. bye luv ya muah!!
hey hey hey.. aloha! wassup man.. this few days stress.. haiz.. studies of course..nas emo wit MG, khai emo wit win, kina wit tony, jah wit gon n leia wit razmy.. haiz.. haha.. many prob haunting us down actually..gee i'm sick n tired of those stuff.. aniway.. ysterday was sports day.. although we didnt win the race(fartlek), i'm proud that we finish it man.. haha.. ysterday rapist no3 sit beside his ex.. damn it.. i was so damn jealous.. i cried actually.. i donno y.. he confess to me that he love me.. i felt that it is true coz he's proving it.. but then few days ago, everything has changed.. dunno y.. i just felt it like that...
arhhggghhh! y am i being so selfish man!! but i cant control coz i love him just like that, only like that.. not so deep.. but i'm kinda pissed off.. he didnt even msg or call me.. since ysterday.. grr.. can see the changes in him.. he fetch me from the dental centre.. he even kissed my cheeks n hold my hand.. what the hell is this.. is he playing wit my feelings or wat? cmon man.. i'm having my o level diz yr.. i'm sick n tired doing this kind of stuff.. great i got such friends like jah, nas, kina, khai, leia.. i dont care.. i dont give a damn!! i gave up!!ps: gonna change poa teacher.. thats great..wee! me got to go.. bye luv ya muah!!
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