HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY, LEIA!

holleer. i'm under dilemma. "no matter wat i do, all i tink about is YOU". my dear DB, i'm sorry if in aniwhere, i've hurt u, or made u cry. i have no bad intention at all, believe me. even my dear dy is assuming shit at me. you both just dont get the picture? y?? is it so hard fer both of you to?? y am i always have to be the middle-person?? & worst, i'm handling 2 gentelman, & yet, i can try to understand me, but y they cant?? even a single bit of it?? y?? its not about a win-win situation, its all about myy happiness, ours, US.

both of u are hitting me with ur words. i can just afford to keep quiet. the ego-ism is killing me, is forcing me to stay calm. u expect me to listen to you, but did u ever wanna listen to me?? y cant u try to be in my shoes?? y? HE tinks tt i'm playing with his feelings. it sucks wen i tried to tell him wats in my heart, & den he accused me of playing with his heart. WTF! its a mistake fida, it is. i want the dream to come true, but i feared tt history may repeat itself. i need the time, but u just don give me d chance to. u cant get me, how am i suppose to get you? whenever i'm trying to explain&explain, & den put in some sense into you, make u understand me, u protested. how?? u win, ok.

y cant they see wats in my heart?? is it so difficult? hais. i better off with the both of you. its too much. dy, i've been so loyal to you, & yet all the shit has to happen during our relationship. however, the love fade but not gone. i've been so loyal. is loyalty towards sum1 a big mistake? or a punishment? as a gurl, its nt difficult to get rid of it. its nt even a year past. yet, you cant pretty well understand it. it takes time. if you tink i'm playing with ur feelings, den wat else can i do, but to let you go. yeahh, let everything fade, dinesh.

& too my DB, if ever the day, whereby everything goes very very wrong, just remember tt i did everything fer the happiness. remember i told you b4, "ADA HIKMAH DI SEBALIKNYE"/ "THERES WISDOM BEHIND IT". still young&still have a long way to go. no needa rush fer long-term relationship. zul is absolutely right.

let me be myself today.

"HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY LEIA."
as u grow older, tink wisely ya. i love you so MUCH! enjoy, love.