i'll miss my grandad!

d happy moment turn out to be d opposite. the day we are waiting fer, shattered into pieces. my grandad (father's side) passed away today at late afternoon. seriously, tt was a god-damn-it news. my family & i was flabbergasted upon hearing d news of my grandfather's death. all of us turned sullen. never did we expect this happen on our big day. furthermore he died on d day b4 hari raya. i cried as soon as Mum cried. pity my grandad as he was unable to celebrate it. 2mrw d first we gotta do early in d mrning is to go to d cemetery where my grandad will be bury. i've lost 2 grandfathers dis year. it play a great impact on me. i'm practically jaded. *sob sob*

went to darls hse wit kiki. it was great indeed. enjoyable infact. thanks kiki fer accompanying me. hmm. d food was nice. keith was there too!! hehes. i'm so contented. he rebond his hair. he look like 1 of d pop singer in Taiwan. hahas. hot-ass papa, big-daddy, jeremiah, kumar, yongie was dere too. jeremiah look so cute! & pravin anna, caught my attention. so good looking. i swear he is. ki told me dy look much more better. hahas. i havta agree wit tt. he insisted me to dance. i wish i could but.... i'm too shy... i'm shy by nature.. ahemm.. ( followng dy steps ). i'm so in love wit pravin anna. err too bad, hes nt gonna b mine. ehhhhhh.. i got dy lar. i love him more!!! hes mine! hehes.

& those mats near d 7 eleven who is just wasting their fucking time freak me. 1 of em ask me fer no. n of cos, to b frank, i told him i'm attach. i felt like screwing it after he said, "nevamind lar if u got bf, just give". shall i speak in tamil, mat? n d stooped me..... said thank u to tt fucker. urgh! so, kina was curious when i utter d word "thank u". aiyo!!!!! i was listless. slip of my tongue~ darn it. LOLs. both of us chuckled upon looking at d guys pathetic look. _shessssshhh!

hmm. i noe tt we r unable to enjoy our Hari Raya as our years before. we r unable to wear our new baju kurung which are most enthusiastic in. hope an angel will come & rekindled our family once again despite d loss. nevamind. god loves my grandad. tts y hes taking his life. hmm sumhow we r gonna enjoy urself 2mrw. i don wanna cry. i'll look so fugly. i noe i gotta b strong.

aite. i got no mood to blog actually. i'm forcing myself to. but watever shit i write here is due to sincerity lar. i'll blog some other day. ~toodles.

tuhan itu maha pengasih
lagi maha penyayang
aku reda dengan segalanya
mungkin
ada hikmah disebaliknya
aku mengerti, tuhan
lebih menyayanginya.
aku berdoa agar roh datukku,
dicucuri rahmat.
AMIN.

new room.

yos. i was actually studying when a strong breeze slapped me. d feeling was kinda enjoyable. fer dat moment i just wanna stop studying & doze off esp during this chilly effect. but then, i decided not to. i endured d itchy-NESS tt overwhelmed day by day. damn. definitely painful. guess i havta c d doctor regarding my condition which is rather serious.

darls did enjoy himself. i hope hes still aint furious wit this fucking me. i'm going to his house today, ya, today 2nd Nov. but, late afternoon. wit KIKI!!! yeah. i donno wat to wear actually. hmm. formal? informal? i dunno. confuse. urgh. basically i cleaned my room. & OMG! it turn out so beautiful. a really impressive turn over. hahas. SERIOUSLY. mopping, sweeping, decorating. i was damn busy. doing tt. surprisingly, i got d MOOD. i'm a lazy-ARSE. its different den previous. better den b4.

slide on d new white curtain on d wooden pole. simple yet stunning. i like! changed d bed sheet. laid d carpet on d floor. its like, i'm so-into-it attitude simply appeared as soon as i notice my sastisfaction. hahas. tts not ME! hail mum & sis who turn d living room into a god-damn heaven. totally BEAUTIFUL!! d Indonesian concept tt they were trying to present was successful. exactly d same! esp those antiques stuff which at first i called it "rubbish", suit d concept. misjudge it. hahas. weirdos hah. tsk*

today, d last day of fasting. hmm. time really flies. i'm ready fer d BIG DAY! i cant wait to wear my striking baju kurung. psst. its orange kaler. adding attractive accesories. princess-like shoes & handbag. hahas. all in 1, GORGEOUS!! wahahahahahahahahahs. cool stuff make me CRAZIE!

okies dokes. i'll blog again. i'm kinda lazy to type. i'm a bum! hehes. ok. i'll make sure i snapshots during d celebration & as usual, upload it in bloggie. i'll share. i'm not stingy. `toodles.

d, i love you. =D

wee!

yos. everything was smoothly under control. make a deal wit dy. i swear, it wont repeat again. now i can smile gracefully. =D yeah. *heaved a sigh of relief* phewwww~ no more tears. much more better. duh. i love him alot. he's mine! =X hehes. we will last.

looks like i can sleep peacefully. i needa rest. i wanna curled up. needa start my day fresh & steady. as usual, study, study, study. & oso clean my distorted room. idiotique kuzzie mess it up every single day. bastard! aite. i'm getting restless. shall blog again soon. `toodles.

ta's.

bonnie&clyde grooves.
happy deeparaya.

bad gf!

i was caught red-handed by him. certainly by D. darn it. i'm sucha DUMB-ASS!! i agreed i'm a bad gf. he's furious. hes pissed off. i noe tt very well. even if hes gonna move away frem me, i'm nt suprise. its all my fault! i deserve any punishment. i havta face d music. i ruin & spoil everything. how cruel can i be??!! if he tink i'm a bitch, i deserve d title.

i shuld spare a thought fer him. at least. i scolded my sis just now, fer no reason. i'm sorry sis! i loitered around d void deck, nowhere to run & go. i felt remorseful. shuts fida! ive been weeping since just now. such a waste dumbass! ur crying over a spill milk fida??? u cant turn back, fuck. i tried to stop my tears frem oozing down profusely, but i just cant. i felt so weak. i felt fucking useless, fucking guilty. darn it. i'm so bad. i noe its futile to explain & apologise to him. haiz. hes hurt. i felt so useless. infact i am.

thanks to kiki & lei who cheer me up n console me. i deserve it gf!

i dont expect him to trust me like he use tp. i dont expect him to love me like he always do. but i hope he will forgive me for my wrongdoings. shame on me! i shall stop my nonsensical fucking habit. yes!! i have to. i love him alot. i don wanna hurt him animore. but i need his support & help, but to no avail. wat can i say? i shall leave him alone. if he thought of leaving me, im physically & mentally prepare. haiz. i don wan history to repeat itself. i wanna start anew. i SWEAR.

thanks darls. i'm really really sorry. (take it or leave it)

HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY, darls baby.
(thanks to me. a fucker who spoil d day!)

ps: HAPPY 2ND MTH ANNIVERSARY to lei & cko

lastly, HAPPY DEEPAVALI!

~toodles.

haiz.

heys. i'm predominantly having a flu. i keep sneezing. my nose is upset, i noe. thanks to ME! i slept at 6 am. its ironic fer me to fall sick when i had enuf sleep. yeah, i did. i woke up at 2.45pm. its more than 8 hrs. duh. wats d use of prattling it. i'm confuse too. *tsk tsk*. hehes.

sis went to perm her hair. hope it will turn out well. she called me just now. shes dealing wit a jam-packed situation. serve her right! so kanchong. there she go again. havta wait fer several hours b4 her turn. d hair-dresser was rather unreliable. blueks.

actually havta help mum in d kitchen. i got no mood. my stomach grumbling. of cos. i'm fasting! i wanna study but i'm lack of energy. my brain just cant werk. i SWEAR, i just cant. i will after breaking my fast. 2mrw is gonna b my Malay O level. i'm re-taking it. i'm not enthusiastic at all. fer sure, i'm gonna do my best. yups.

seriously mum has a resonant voice. her voice resounded thruout d house. tts so annoying. she keep telling me to do this, that. mummy, i'm feeling so unwell!!!! my eyes are burning red. i tink i should start my power-napping. do u tink it will become worse? i dont noe. hmm. i wanna rest ferst. enables me to study later. YUPS. `toodles

i love my D. i swear I DO.

ta =)

uber bored!!

yos. i'm still awake this morns. i gotta study. apparently i havta study. i'm fitting in my relaxation in between. i'm just too sensitive. OVER study& even stress-NESS will make me sick. its so annoying. waiting fer my darls baby to reach hm frem werk. guess he's full after tucking in d food. hehes. its so uber boring.

yesterday went to geylang. back home at 1 plus. it was jam-packed. mostly covered by d malays who went dere wit purpose tagging along wit em. d mats & minahs who r not really welcomed was fuckin kecohrable. & cheeky mats who were paid to sell tings didnt do a good job. so fugly! i was jaded tho d atmosphere seems to be super happening. syed azmir caught my eye. another clon of usher baby. hahas. he's so adorable. hahas. i was most captivated of d food. YUMMY! nothing much. purchased it while stock last. shessshh!

i love my darls baby alot! thanks to him, he brought me to d rite track. may miracles will come by our way.

aite. i shall end here. i'm getting sleepy. mayb i shall curled up on my bed. i shall c. i'll blog again soon. ~toodles.

ps; i miss my watevas to bits

X anti cockroaches

ta

have fun? no!

aik. i'm going geylang really soon. wit sis & bro inc. my relaxation fer d day. i needa look out fer stuff. blueks. its gonna b a sleep-LESS nite today. i wanna stay awake to study. i needa to catch up & needa LOTS of practice fer Maths. esp Chem. so frail in it. i cant waste much time. i noe tt very well.

i'm missing & loving my darls baby day by day. i donno when is our next meet-up. hope its gonna b really soon. yup yup. i gtg now. i'll blog whenever i'm free rite. `toodles =D

X anti racist.

ta.